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Poetry of Karen L. Wilson
HOW CAN I MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND
I've been asked more times than I can count------
How can I make them understand?
That somedays it hurts when they hold my hand
How can I make them understand that I have pain from head to toe
When it's not a feeling I want them to know
How can I make them understand about the overwhelming exhaustion
That most days every step I take must be taken with caution
How can I make them understand that I really do need this med
This is an illness of my body, not in my head
How can I make them understand I still need a call just to remind me that you're there
Or a short visit just to say you care
How can I make them understand at work that I just can't manage
I'm not trying to take advantage
How can I make them understand that even though I now use a cane
That my love for them will never change
How can I make them understand that even though I am ill
I need to be needed still
How can I make them understand an illness with no explanation
An illness that effects my concentration
How can I make them understand,
when someday I don't understand it myself
Copyright 1-11-01
Karen L. Wilson
AS MY EYES OPEN
As my eyes open to meet the day ahead
I hurt so bad, I just want to stay in bed
I prayed my body would hold me as my feet hit the floor
I don't want to live like this anymore
Stiff and in pain I begin the limping walk
The pain is so excruciating I don't want to talk
Will there be just one day when I wake feeling well
This illness is making life a living hell
Sleep seems so elusive and hasn't come in days
The exhaustion leaves me in the awful fibro foggy haze
My stomach is sick from the pain
My balance I struggle to regain
It's one of those days when I just hurt so bad
You know the ones that make you cry and leave you feeling sad
Meds don't seem to be touching the pain that I feel
It hurts to much to move, so I try to stay still
The pain is consuming and I don't know what to do
Should I take one more med, no , let's make it two
Every part of my body has pain
This illness is driving me insane
Tolerable pain is what I'm praying for
I don't want to feel like this anymore
Copyrighted on 1-16-01
By: Karen L. Wilson
FM
FM, what does that mean?
It means that I have an illness that can't be seen
FM pain, how bad can that be?
'You look just fine to me"
Let's try one more med
"Just get your butt out of bed"
Praying to make it up the stairs and into the tub
Honey, could you please give my back one more rub
Not too hard, my skin hurts again
This is the worst flare I've ever been in
Where did I put that thing I needed to use?
Add that to the long list of things I loose
No more whining, I'm going to be strong
Then the FM reminds that that thought was wrong
The phone isn't ringing anymore
God, I hope I can make it to the store
I WILL NOT USE THAT CANE
I can handle this pain
I'm too young to feel this bad
I miss the good health I once had
You can't hurt this much and not be dying
Do you ever get sick of trying?
I play the game of remember when
I sit here and wonder if you are still my friend
The days begin to melt together
Will I feel this way forever?
Good days mean something else to me
They now mean I can have a glimpse of how I use to be
But all hope is not lost
I will not loose myself in this, no matter the cost
I will keep hoping and praying for relief
I can't let this illness shatter my belief
I will try to be patient with myself, day in and day out
Believing in my soul that I truly know what unconditional love is all about
Written By: Karen Wilson
copyright 2000
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